


Naked

by missjaneaustin



Category: BL - Fandom, boyslove - Fandom
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Betrayal, Calhoun - Freeform, Disturbed, Eli - Freeform, Fluff, Forced, Freedom, Growth, Hurt, Insanity, Little, Loss, Lost - Freeform, Love, M/M, Nightmares, Passion, Romance, Sacrifice, Searching, Story, Tears, Torture, frienships, happiness, love is love, naked, painful, unexpected
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:21:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26461840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missjaneaustin/pseuds/missjaneaustin
Summary: Torn apart, broken in two, shattered and dragged, I met you. Dark thorns pierced, I stumble and fall, would it be enough to be with you at all?





	1. Meeting You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone I hope you are doing well today!
> 
> I do apologize in advance if there are any spelling errors.
> 
> Thank you for giving me a chance. 
> 
> -Love, Jane

I stared at the liquor with blurred vision. Smiling, I gulped down the last of what made me remotely sane. It was the first time alcohol ever touched my lips.

"Another." The burning sensation the alcohol left behind was something I anticipated in excitement. The bartender, Sam, shook his head in disapproval. I came to know Sam a few years ago as we shared the same orphanage.

"Eli. You need to stop. Liquor ain't a good way to deal with your problems. Why are you doing this? It's a first to see you in any type of pain. " I looked away and refused to pay attention to him.

The brown liquid filled half the cup and due to Sam's constant disapproval I chugged it and left.

The air was cold but pleasant. Empty was what I felt, and I loved every second of it. I walked mindlessly until I came across a lit store. Since I wasn't drunk enough I decided to head inside. I took a six pack and then proceeded to grab another.

I opened a can of beer as I walked towards the till. Propping my elbow on the counter I watched the cashier scan the items.

"What happened to you?" She asked bluntly and I stared at the blood dripping from my hand. I smiled.

"Accident." I payed and left. I sat down on the pavement not being able to walk much further.

I crunched the can within my hand and threw it behind me. I opened another. The liquid spilt from the sides of my mouth as I couldn't keep my hand steady anymore.

This was it, this was the only way I felt as if I could survive. 

I heard footsteps and with blurry vision I looked to my right. There was no one in sight until a group of raggedy men noticed my presence.

They were definitely up to no good by the looks of it. I for one couldn't care less.

"I don't have money." I slurred before the person in front could utter a syllable. He chuckled vehemently, clearly thinking what came out of my mouth was a lie.

They tugged my jacket forward whilst said guy punched me in the face. My head bobbed to the side as blood trailed down my lip.

I smiled. Which earned me a confused stare. He was starting to get frustrated as I continued to irk him unintentionally. They scratched around in my pockets and found absolutely nothing, which made them more vexed. 

Someone else's fist collided with my jaw and they all laughed together like hyenas. My response was a simple smile which resulted in my neck being gripped and my body being slammed down on the concrete.

As I shifted in and out of consciousness whilst getting beaten I couldn't help but feel at ease, but then, it stopped.

They scattered away. Confusion littered my face as I heard multiple footsteps run towards me.

"Hey, can you hear me? Don't close your eyes please!" Hands were placed on both sides of my face. I blinked slowly trying to see who the person was but to no avail.

Drops landed on skin and for a second I thought it was about to rain, but they weren't raindrops, they were tears.

***

My eyelids parted and the harsh rays of the sun were completely dissatisfying.

The doctor stared at me and proceeded to ask whether I was okay or not.

"I'm fine." Was all I said before he explained to me what happened.

"There was someone waiting for you for an entire week. They said they'd return later in order to check up on you once again." Check on me? I did not want to see her right now. The mere thought of Emily seeing me in this state made my stomach churn.

"In your condition, I do recommend that you stay for a longer period of time. You have a fractured rib, a head injury and so many more bruises across your body."

"I'm okay." and I was. The pain was nothing.

The doctor could not force me to stay. It was difficult and tiresome to get dressed but I couldn't bring myself to head to her house just yet.

I stared at myself in the mirror and noticed the bruises on my face. I wasn't alarmed nor embarrassed. I just smiled.

I left limping but before I could exit the hospital someone gripped my shoulders. He was as tall as me. Black hair, dark brown eyes and a very fair complexion that made him stand out. 

He had evident bags under his eyes and a disheveled mount of curls on top of his head.

"Why are you out of bed?" He asked in such a tone that my argument got stuck in my throat.

I kept quiet, waiting patiently for him to tell me who he was.

"Do you not remember me?" He questioned and I shook my head. He mumbled something incoherently before pushing me in the direction of the room.

"I can't stay here."

"I'll take you to another hospital." He was insistent on the matter.

"Should I really be troubling you? Are you not occupied with other activities?" I questioned but he shook his head with a slight grin

He had the same facial expression that Emily had.

"Let's go." He gripped my hand interrupting my thoughts, pulling me towards the exit like an anchor. As he led me to the door I couldn't help but be relieved that I wasn't carrying myself, even if it was for a few miniscule minutes.


	2. Part 2

His free hand pushed the door open. Air flew into my lungs in a rush causing me to halt. I needed to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry." I raised my head and steadied my stance before I spoke.

"Why are you in such a rush?" The guy in front of me stared at me as if my brain had not been attached to my body.

"Do I need to answer you?" He questioned, exasperated. He took my hand again and I flinched. Not because he accidently touched my wounds, but the emotion behind it.

"What's your name?" I asked before he could reach for me again. I smiled as if time stopped, as if for a moment I could pretend that someone cared for me.

He took a step back as if he saw something he didn't want to. I blinked slowly before he cleared his throat.

"Calhoun." He looked down at his feet, appearing to be slightly embarrassed by the name. 

"Mines Eli." He nodded and then told me that he'd call a cab service in order to take me to another hospital. 

I stared at him in silence trying my best not to fall down. The affects of the drugs were wearing off, and my insides began twisting. 

My thoughts hindered me emotionally bare. Broken. The bone beneath my flesh would be exposed to the world to see and I wasn't ready to explode just yet.

"They'll be here shortly." I wanted to ask why he cared so much, but all everyone did was lie. 

I stumbled and Calhoun caught my body in an awkward manner. A rushed breath left his reddish lips and heaved a sigh of relief before placing me on my feet again. 

He stared at my eyes briefly and looked away quickly. 

"There are nothing in them, are there?" I smiled. His mouth opened but before he could speak the driver pulled up by the curb. 

Calhoun helped me in the car and even though it was fairly warm he placed his jacket over my shoulders. 

"Which hospital would you like to go to?" He asked. 

"Where do you live?" 

"Thirty minutes from here." He answered. 

"Let's go to the hospital around your area." Even though he had millions of questions running across his mind he refrained from asking them. 

The driver began the ignition and our destination was set. I sank in the back seat and layed my head back. 

"Careful." Calhoun said in the same voice I could not bare retort back to. Even though he had not been sleeping well Calhoun stayed up the entire drive, consistently checking up on me. 

It reminded me of a play I lived through. A set sequence of events that were planned every month in order to prove that I was in fact enjoying hell. 

Once we arrived I marveled at the hospital in front of me. It was of good quility, something I wasn't accustomed to until recent events took place. 

"Thank you." I said to the driver and waved. Calhoun was burning a hole in my head with the obvious staring. He eventually approached me, wrapping a hesitant arm around my waist.

"You don't need to help me." I looked at him. He did not need to pretend anymore, nor did he need to be kind to me. This was uncomfortable yet strangely comforting. 

Calhoun ignored my words and helped me towards the front desk. He took charge by giving the information to the secretary. He seemed accustomed to how things worked around here. 

"How's your mother?" The lady at the desk smiled warmly as she asked. 

"She's doing amazing." The doctor handed me something to fill in whilst she kept conversation with Calhoun. 

Once the form was completed I was taken to a room. I asked Calhoun why I would occupy the room by my lonesome, but all he did was shove me into the bathroom, instructing me to get dressed whilst he spoke to the doctor. 

All in all this seemed pricey. I wasn't accustomed to this lifestyle. The buzz of people could no longer be heard and I was left with my own thoughts. 

I turned around and a large mirror stood proudly against the wall, taunting me. As each piece of clothing left my body a story was told. 

Tell tale signs of how broken I was was left on my skin to remind me day and night that I was a shattered mess of glass. 

Before I could ponder further on my distorted mind a knock sounded. 

"Are you okay?" 

Those three words were never asked other than by individuals who did not really ponder on the deep meaning behind it. And all I could say was: 

"I'm okay."


	3. Part 3

"He is not okay! Does that blue mark surrounding his neck look okay to you?? He literally has a bandage around his head!" I was taken aback by the sudden raise in Calhouns voice. Even the doctor was unaware of how to reply back to him. 

"Hey Eli! Tell him what happened and tell him where it hurts." Again, I could not reply. The determination in his voice was set in stone, unwavering. 

"It doesn't hurt but I'll show you were I was beaten." My voice was monotone. There were no evidence that I was indeed in any discomfort, but more so internally. Usually, hiding my emotional wellbeing came easy, but for some or other reason Calhouns presence bothered me. 

The doctors eyes were concerned and once he got the details he explained that a nurse would be with me shortly. 

"Aren't you going to leave?" Calhoun seemed genuinely wounded by my words. I didn't mean for my words to leave paper cuts. 

"No." He gave a firm answer before dialing a number on his smartphone. 

"Hey mum! I'm at the hospital you use to come to." The cheeriness in his voice was something I never experienced before. I wasn't jealous. I just wanted to smile the way he did, for whatever reason actually made me happy. 

The doctor came in and brought along a needle, and a bag with clear fluid. 

Despite not being afraid of needles I could tell that Calhoun was. He gently held my hand and stated that it would be short, that I wouldn't feel any pain as long as I squeezed his hand. 

Boisterous, was one word that came to mind as I stared at his perturbed face. I humored him as I reciprocated. 

Holding on to his warm hand made me realize something very alarming. I began to form an unwanted attachment. 

I shook my head, nothing made sense anymore. 

"Are you okay? It's almost done. See, it's done!" I couldn't help but chuckle at his panic stricken eyes. Calhouns mouth opened wider and I looked at him before smiling softly. 

"So you are human huh?" He smiled at me with his pearly white teeth before reaching out towards me. I flinched but Calhoun didn't seem to notice anything. His hand delved into my locks and moved them slightly behind my ear. 

"I'm going to get you some clothes okay? Also you'd look better with a shorter haircut. Not that I'm saying you're cute or anything. Uh-" He coughed and then sped out like crazy. 

Long after he left I continuously stared at the door. As if his return was the only thing keeping my mental thread from parting. 

I touched my hair and realized that it had grown tremendously. Self care was lost within me. Caring about my appearance was never on the list until... I stared at the entrance again, waiting. 

The door opened, interrupting my thoughts. 

"Eli your mother is here." My heart stopped. Emily, my birth mother crouched down to eye level and hugged me. I could feel her body heaving up and down, which led to a tremendous amount of sorrow landing on my chest. 

"I'm not angry at you at all." Hearing the words exit her mouth soothingly I sighed against her. It felt as if I were a burden to her and because I was never apart of the family to begin with, I thought I would be better off dead than alive. 

I learned that existing for others was exhausting, that my recent discovery of love was distorted, absurd and downrite self-destructive. Which was partially the reason why I couldn't reciprocate what Emily was so generously sharing with me. It's the kind of delicate love that I wasn't use to

Even though I lived with her for more than seven months I couldn't bring myself to accept all the love and items she'd given me. 

Emily left me when I was younger, a baby. I'd been through so much since then but I couldn't seem to blame her. Her story was one I wished never happened. She was as troubled as I was and for that reason, I stayed. 

"Let's take you home." I stared at the door longingly but looked away immediately. 

Calhoun didn't need to be sucked in the despair that was me. Even though he stirred something within me I couldn't bring myself to be selfish. 

Living for other people was what I was use to. Placing their needs above my own. 

"Let's go." Emily said as she asked her helper some assistance. May(the helper) always cared about me with her entire being and I couldn't help but feel terrible about running away as I stared at the tears in her eyes. 

***  
Calhouns POV. 

I came back running with a smile on my face but before I got to the door I stopped, trying to show that I was merely just getting clothes, that this wasn't that much of a deal. 

All I saw in Eli was a little boy who so desperately wanted to be loved. Someone who wanted to be told that they deserved to be on this planet as much as anyone else. 

I looked down at the sandwich my mother made and some strawberries. I checked it once again and breathed out before stepping inside. 

"I'm back. My m-" I stared at the empty bed and then proceeded to run towards the bathroom in a rush. 

I realized that he had left without saying goodbye as if our meeting was insignificant. 

Before I left, something caught my eye in the mirror. A sticky note. 

"Thank you, for everything. - Eli."


	4. Chapter 4

As I sat in front along with Emily, I realized that I was content not meeting Calhoun again.

As my foot tapped relentlessly against the floor of the car Emily stared at me habouring a curious face.

I knew she wanted to ask, but I wasn't sure why I was so agitated nor what I'd answer her with.

I sighed staring outside before smiling. The encounter was miniscule yet more uplifting than I thought it would be.

Even though I wouldn't be seeing Calhoun ever again I couldn't help but ponder on what kind of person he was as a whole.

"That's the first time I've ever seen a genuine smile on you." Emily treaded the waters gently as if she were scared to ask me. I didn't realize I was smiling.

This was a first for me as well.

"Are you ready to go to university?" she asked in a small voice. I didn't want Emily to be so causcious around me. Telling her this seemed more difficult than I expected. I struggled to convey what I felt when I felt it.

All I could do was nod. I figured that it'd be better if I were out of her way. Our 'bonding' wasn't getting anywhere as I was too afraid to speak my mind, to expose my true feelings to her.

Would they be disgusted that I eventually began liking the bruises that tainted my body? That it was now like an art piece I didn't want to part with? My thoughts were messy and hurtful. 

"That's so good Eli! You'll need some new clothes! Some books and a backpack." I fidgeted with my hands in between my legs before she bit her lip.

"Let's start out with one hoody? How about that? And some pb and j?" the familiarity of the words, besides the hoody, excited me.

I nodded at her, genuinely appreciative of her warm aura. 

The feeling of affection was foreign, and I was petrified that it would be taken away if I were to accept it with my impaired heart.

Would it spill through the cracks and lose meaning? Emily shed tears on a daily basis, trying to hide her broken nature behind her perfect smile.

"Daniel is joining us for breakfast tomorrow morning." Daniel always wanted a son and wasn't in agreement when Emily decided to give me up for adoption and he had been excited ever since I came to their home. 

This was more alarming to me and made my heart beat excelerate a little more than it should've. 

We walked towards the shop and I stared mostly at my feet trying my best not to make eye contact with people. 

"Don't worry. I'll be here with you." She sounded unsure of herself but I knew the reason, I was the cause.

"Hello?" I looked up and her facial features were unfimiliar. I pursed my lips.

"Are you Eli? Calhouns cute friend?" my eyes widened and I stepped back bumping into Emily.

"Mom why are you standing there!" I popped my head to the side only to see Calhoun scowl furiously at the ground. I couldn't help but smile at the sight in front of me.

It was as if he never received his afternoon apple juice. Despite the warning signs going off within me I couldn't help but unknowingly beam at his bright appearance. 

"Mo-" Calhoun looked at me with a mouth that nearly reached the floor. With shock came a little bit of anger. 

I bit my lip unconsciouly gripping Emily's arm. I didn't know why but the mere fact that Calhoun was mad at me made me even more upset at myself. 

Calhoun looked at my hand griping the pink fabric and then the anger dissipated almost immediatly.

"Hi I'm Calhouns mom he-" Calhoun coughed loudly. 

"Are you here for clothes? My treat!" Calhoun gripped my hand and took me away. 

I looked back afraid that Emily would be disappointed but her eyes glistened in the sunlight as she waved. 

"I'll grab a coffee I'll be here!, take your time sweetheart!" My chest swelled with something foreign as I stopped Calhoun from moving any further. 

"It feels warm here." I said as I touched my chest. 

He smiled at my words before stepping in front of me. 

"Why'd you leave without saying goodbye?" 

Because everyone pretended to care. Everyone acted kind for a little while before they enclosed me in their fists and made putty out of me.


	5. Chapter 5

I stared at Calhoun unable to spill my thoughts via my tongue. He was waiting patiently, assuming I needed time to answer.

He sighed and then gripped my hand. Calhoun was a hands on person. I knew this was unconscious when it came to him, as if it were just a reflex action. However, the gentle way in which he handled me was out of the ordinary.

"What made you come to the store?"

"Pb and j." Calhoun turned around and my forehead smacked against his.

Before I could apologize he lifted my chin to meet his widened gaze.

"I'll take you to the best burger place in town and you don't have to worry, I'll pay. Just make sure you're hungry!" Before I could intervene my stomach growled proudly.

I was unsure of how to politely decline Calhouns invitation but because of his playful nature he barely saw my weary face.

"You'll love it." I was glad he didn't know what went on inside my HEAD. He stopped in his tracks as if he realized something.

"Hey, Eli." He called out my name sounding bothered.

"I'm sorry that I'm so forward. You can come with me only if you feel comfortable. Please say when I'm ann-"

"Yes. " He looked up mid ramble as I said the word with a smallish smile. That was enough for Calhoun to showcase his pearly whites towards me.

"Let me help you." Calhoun said as he held my shoulder. He did so tenderly, making sure there was room for me to take in his presence.  
I stared at him.

"Is everything okay?" I pursed my lips before nodding. As we walked passed different shops I was a bit taken aback. There were things I'd never seen before.

"I don't want you to walk around too much so let's get to the restaurant quickly." Worry etched his bright face as he leaded me to a place called Loco. The exterior looked fancy. The intricate designs used to catch the customers attention was outstanding. Bright colors could clearly be seen from a mile away, capturing individuals with ease. 

"Hello! Welcome to Locos! Hope you have a Loco time!" The waitress giggled. A bright smile immediately could be seen from my side eye. 

"Let me take you to your seating places." She grinned and lead us to a two seated booth. It was enclosed and very private. Calhoun assisted me onto the burger designed seats and I couldn't help but grin at them. They were child like cartoons but enhanced the place nonetheless. The waitress came back with some menus and Calhoun shook his head playfully making his larger curls turn into smaller ones. 

"I know exactly what we should order! Chilly cheese fries, jumbo. Two Chews burgers and make that jumbos as well, and some Coke. Thanks!" Calhoun turned towards me and my eyes widened. My stomach shrunk. I wasn't sure whether I'd be able to finish the meal he was about to give me. 

Guilt filled me up as I tried not to stare at his brown orbs. 

"I need to fatten you up! Eli-" He stopped and then I could hear footsteps. A sudden dip could be felt once he sat next to me. 

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asked. Calhoun noticed everything, whether it was seconds later or minutes. 

"I don't think I can finish all the things you prepared for me. I'm not much of an eater..." I remembered my old foster parents eating burgers. They'd tell me there wasn't any food to eat and that I'd be better off thin. That I would receive a mountain of hate if I were to be chubby. I was eleven. 

"Eli. I promise you, if you do not finish, I will."He raised his pinky and I stared at him in confusion. 

"You don't know what's a pinky promise?" Calhoun gasped, taken aback by my lack of knowledge. 

"Raise your pinky." I raised mine and he hooked his own, surrounding my finger. 

"Now, wrap yours around mine. Remember these are sacred, only share them with closed friends and family." Calhoun never asked why I never knew what a pinky promise was, why my eyes grew larger when I saw something unfamiliar to me. 

I liked it. Too much. 

The burgers arrived making my mouth salivate unconsciously. The smell was intoxicating. Much like Calhouns presence. 

"Take a bite." Calhoun turned towards me and the proceeded to take out his cellphone. 

"What are you doing?" I asked a bit nervous. 

"Memories." 

I bit into the burger and the explosion of flavor that devoured my taste buds was something out of this world. 

"First burger! February 12th!" he said before filming himself. 

"First haircut coming up soon! Also he'd look way better with sh-" He turned off the camera and my brows knitted together. 

His cheeks began changing color. Was he beginning to get a fever? I placed my hand on his forehead which resulted Calhoun to move away from me. 

"You feel a little warm, maybe you should get some medication." I stated with a small smile. He looked away and then continued to eat. I ate some of the fries after asking for permission and regretted it instantaneously. 

"My mouth!!" Calhouns laugh caused ripple effects in my chest and I couldn't help but join in. 

After countless glasses of water I was finally okay. 

"You feeling okay?" Calhoun asked as he took a napkin, wiping the excess water off of my lips. 

"Yes." I said as I finished the rest of my burger. 

"Can we maybe be friends?" Calhoun asked nervously. 

Friends? What was a friend?


End file.
